DMs and calls go to relay.coinos.io and relay.primal.net (both take gift wraps and pass call messages on live), not nos.lol, which refused or ignored the household IP's publishes. A relay that turns a call message away is left out of the next ones on this device: a day for one that won't take the kind (nip17.com: only kind 1059), ten minutes for a rate limit or ban. publishOn tells its caller which relay refused and why (onrefused).

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5.5 <[email protected]>
Claude-Session: https://claude.ai/code/session_013ZDf1cyCQLkfjftYhymZAg

2 files changed, 28 insertions, 4 deletions

diff --git a/src/features/messages.js b/src/features/messages.js
index bfdabd1..695cba2 100644
--- a/src/features/messages.js
+++ b/src/features/messages.js
@@ -63,7 +63,10 @@ import { COMMUNITY, EPOCH } from '../community.js';
 import COMMUNITY_DIRECTORY from '../community-directory.json';
 import { assetUrl } from '../asset-url.js';
 import { mergeFeeds } from '../feed-sync.js';
-const DM_RELAYS = ['wss://relay.coinos.io', 'wss://nos.lol'];
+// coinos's own relay and primal: both take DM gift wraps and pass call
+// messages (ephemeral 21059) on live. nos.lol was here until 2026-10-19 — it
+// refused or ignored the household IP's publishes, call answers among them.
+const DM_RELAYS = ['wss://relay.coinos.io', 'wss://relay.primal.net'];
 const NOTIFIER = 'https://nwcpush.coinos.io';
 const APP_BASE = 'https://v3.coinos.io';
 const CACHE_MAX = 50; // messages kept per channel / per DM thread in feature state
@@ -9257,6 +9260,21 @@ export function messagesFeature(ctx) {
   };
   let calls = null;
   const callInbox = new Map(); // peer -> their inbox relays, for this session
+  // Relays that turned a call message away are left out of the next ones: a
+  // relay that won't take the kind (nip17.com: "only kind 1059") for a day,
+  // one rate-limiting or banning us for ten minutes. Kept on this device.
+  const CALL_SHUN_KEY = 'coinos-call-shun';
+  let callShun = (() => { try { return JSON.parse(localStorage.getItem(CALL_SHUN_KEY) || '{}'); } catch { return {}; } })(); // relay -> until
+  function callRefused(url, msg) {
+    const kindRule = /only kind|not (accepted|allowed)|blocked|unsupported|restricted|kind \d+/i.test(msg) && !/rate|too many|banned|slow down/i.test(msg);
+    callShun[url] = Date.now() + (kindRule ? 86400_000 : 600_000);
+    try { localStorage.setItem(CALL_SHUN_KEY, JSON.stringify(callShun)); } catch {}
+  }
+  function callRelaysOf(relays) {
+    const now = Date.now();
+    const ok = relays.filter((r) => !(callShun[r] > now));
+    return ok.length ? ok : relays; // all of them shunned: try them anyway
+  }
   async function inboxFor(pk) {
     if (callInbox.has(pk)) return callInbox.get(pk);
     const p = (isMe(pk) ? Promise.resolve(ownInbox) : fetchInboxRelays(pk).catch(() => []))
@@ -9313,7 +9331,8 @@ export function messagesFeature(ctx) {
         const tries = signed.kind === CALL.ICE ? 1 : 4;
         for (let i = 0; i < tries; i++) {
           if (i) await new Promise((r) => setTimeout(r, 1500 * 2 ** (i - 1)));
-          if (await publishOn(await inboxFor(pk), wrapCall(signed, pk), { onauth: relayAuth })) return;
+          const relays = callRelaysOf(await inboxFor(pk));
+          if (await publishOn(relays, wrapCall(signed, pk), { onauth: relayAuth, onrefused: callRefused })) return;
         }
         throw new Error('not delivered');
       },
diff --git a/src/nostr.js b/src/nostr.js
index 8dcab01..c77fc27 100644
--- a/src/nostr.js
+++ b/src/nostr.js
@@ -498,7 +498,7 @@ export async function queryStreamOn(relays, filter, onEvent, maxWait = 1500) {
     });
   } catch {} finally { await Promise.all(pending); }
 }
-export async function publishOn(relays, evt, { onauth = null } = {}) {
+export async function publishOn(relays, evt, { onauth = null, onrefused = null } = {}) {
   try {
     const live = liveRelays(relays);
     // A rejected publish is a relay refusing the event (policy, rate limit,
@@ -520,7 +520,12 @@ export async function publishOn(relays, evt, { onauth = null } = {}) {
         // "relay connection errored/closed" means the socket never came up —
         // that's a sick relay, not a rejected event.
         if (/connect|closed|errored|timeout|network/i.test(msg)) markRelaySick(live[i], msg);
-        else console.warn(`nostr: publish kind ${evt.kind} refused by ${live[i]}:`, msg);
+        else {
+          console.warn(`nostr: publish kind ${evt.kind} refused by ${live[i]}:`, msg);
+          // the relay said no to this event (policy, a rate limit, a ban): a
+          // caller can stop asking it
+          if (onrefused) try { onrefused(live[i], msg); } catch {}
+        }
         return false;
       }));
     // The first acceptance IS delivery — one durable copy is enough, and