Never write a follow list over one we failed to find

A kind 3 is replaceable: publishing one built on a list we didn't find
wipes the real one wherever it lands. 2026-10-02, an Amethyst user with
398 follows (kept on her own relays and an archive) signed in to coinos
for the first time; the starter-follows seed asked only our relays, saw
nothing, and published Adam + coinos over her list.

- deepContactList: our relays, the profile indexes, the archives, the
  person's own NIP-65 write relays, and Primal's signed copy (verified).
- Starter follows only for a key with no follow list AND no profile
  anywhere ('new' meant new to coinos, not new to nostr).
- A follow, follow-many or mute made while we have never seen the list
  does the deep lookup first and builds on what it finds.
- Settings > Nostr > Follow list: find older copies on history-keeping
  relays and restore one as a union with the current list (nobody is
  removed), for anyone already hit.
- tools/follows-overwrite-test.js: fake relay network, only an archive
  holds the list; fails on the old code with the exact two-person event.

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5.5 <[email protected]>
Claude-Session: https://claude.ai/code/session_01Dmcrt9KyNDKVWFKnb8BREo

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