DMs and calls go to relay.coinos.io and relay.primal.net (both take gift wraps and pass call messages on live), not nos.lol, which refused or ignored the household IP's publishes. A relay that turns a call message away is left out of the next ones on this device: a day for one that won't take the kind (nip17.com: only kind 1059), ten minutes for a rate limit or ban. publishOn tells its caller which relay refused and why (onrefused).

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5.5 <[email protected]>
Claude-Session: https://claude.ai/code/session_013ZDf1cyCQLkfjftYhymZAg

1 files changed, 7 insertions, 2 deletions

diff --git a/src/nostr.js b/src/nostr.js
index 8dcab01..c77fc27 100644
--- a/src/nostr.js
+++ b/src/nostr.js
@@ -498,7 +498,7 @@ export async function queryStreamOn(relays, filter, onEvent, maxWait = 1500) {
     });
   } catch {} finally { await Promise.all(pending); }
 }
-export async function publishOn(relays, evt, { onauth = null } = {}) {
+export async function publishOn(relays, evt, { onauth = null, onrefused = null } = {}) {
   try {
     const live = liveRelays(relays);
     // A rejected publish is a relay refusing the event (policy, rate limit,
@@ -520,7 +520,12 @@ export async function publishOn(relays, evt, { onauth = null } = {}) {
         // "relay connection errored/closed" means the socket never came up —
         // that's a sick relay, not a rejected event.
         if (/connect|closed|errored|timeout|network/i.test(msg)) markRelaySick(live[i], msg);
-        else console.warn(`nostr: publish kind ${evt.kind} refused by ${live[i]}:`, msg);
+        else {
+          console.warn(`nostr: publish kind ${evt.kind} refused by ${live[i]}:`, msg);
+          // the relay said no to this event (policy, a rate limit, a ban): a
+          // caller can stop asking it
+          if (onrefused) try { onrefused(live[i], msg); } catch {}
+        }
         return false;
       }));
     // The first acceptance IS delivery — one durable copy is enough, and